On Friends

Where have they all gone?

I have been blogging for close to 13 years now and have made the acquaintance of folks all around the world.  During the same time however, most of my “In Real Life” friends have died, moved away or we have just grown apart.   There are people that my wife and I are social with, but I lack profound relationships.

The guys that I used to spend time with talking about life, relationships, good vs evil, playing music, and sometimes even sports, are gone.

Every now and then, I wonder why?  Most days however, I’m content with my situation.

Is it me?, them? just the fact that life got in the way?

My father had men in his life that he talked to/met with weekly, sometimes daily for 40 years. They knew more about each other than their wives might have. They were side by side, through the normal ups and downs and even the occasional tragedies.  I grew up watching that and looked forward to the day that I would have relationships like my father had, but the ones heading in that direction evaporated in the dust of moving vans or the incense at  funerals.

Back to blogging.  One of my favorite storytellers  is David Kanigan over at the Live & Learn blog.  Writing from the shores of the Long Island Sound in Connecticut, “DK” was one of the first bloggers I met online and if the truth be told, meeting him in person is on my bucket list. (we came close to pulling it off once).

A few mornings ago, I was reading a story that DK wrote from the perspective of “Sully”, his daughter’s dog who they were caring for awhile while she and her new husband were honeymooning (an educated guess on my part?).  The title of the post is Sully’s Great Adventure (IV) and I encourage you to read the series.  When I came accross the line,

“. . .  but since grandpa has no friends, I understand why he doesn’t get it…”

I guess that I’m not the only one?

As I look back, fondly smiling on some memories, I wonder if someone will again stumble into my life so I can again form that lind of a relationship with?  In the meantime, there are guys like DK, Kurt Harden and Stephen Landry , Steve Layman and others,  that I will be sharing thoughts, and occasional dinner/cigars with.

And for them and some others, I am thankful.




About Ray V.

Living between Aiken & Nashville, TN, USA, I like to share what I am looking at, thinking about or listening to. I refer to this as the view out my window. Thanks for stopping by.
This entry was posted in bloggery, Blogs, friends, life and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to On Friends

  1. Live & Learn says:

    Thank you Ray. Moved by your thoughts, by your kind words and your Friendship.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dale Clock says:

    Ray you are not alone with those thoughts. Because of our line of work there are only a few folks who care to discuss the regular day to day business and personal challenges that you and I had through out our careers due to the “spook factor” of funeral service. My wife even tries to set up “Play Dates” for me with her friend’s husbands. And that’s OK because sometimes I need a push to get out of the box that I live in. I too hope for the regular morning coffee clutch with the boys to solve all the problems of the world. BTW I enjoyed your visit on Undertaking The Podcast. I think they need to talk to more guys like you and me to balance out their conversations with the just out of mortuary school folks. Just because we are in our 60’s doesn’t mean we aren’t open minded and ready to change. It’s just that we have a “”been there, did that, it didn’t work” perspective on stuff that may help some of the younger folks.


    Liked by 1 person

    • Ray V. says:

      Thanks for the comment, Dale. Same with me… going out as a couple with her friends and their husbands. It’s nice, but superficial. Our crazy, unpredictable hours don’t help either. The podcast was fun, but I wish I remembered to say a few things I left out that would have driven home a few points. I started working at my first FH job 42 years ago. I hardly recognize it. Stay well and keep the cold/snow up there. Regards.


  3. Pingback: On Friends, Pt. 2 | Mitigating Chaos

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