Settling In

I’m 3/4 of the way through being 60.  Sadly, I find most of the declarations below accurate.

Maybe you do also?

The Perks of being over 60.

• Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
• Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
• You sing along with elevator music.
• Your joints are more accurate than The Weather Channel at predicting rain.
• You have a party and your neighbors don’t even realize it.
• People call at 9pm and ask “Did I wake you”?
• People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
• Things you buy now won’t wear off.
• You can live without sex, but not without glasses.
• You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.
• You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
• You an eat dinner at 4:00pm.
• There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
• You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
• You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
• You know (hope) your eyes won’t get much worse
• Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
• Kidnappers are not interested in you.
• In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
• No one expects you to run into a burning building (I do miss doing that, though)