The Honeymoon Is Over

Once upon a time…

A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, ‘Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now, you probably won’t remember, but you were in a serious wreck on the freeway. You’re going to be okay, you’ll walk again and everything, but something happened. I’m trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your penis was chopped off in the accident and we were unable to find it.’

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, ‘The good news is that you’ve got $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new penis. It will work as well as your old one did -better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn’t come cheap. It’s $1000 an inch.’
The man perks up at this. ‘So,’ the doctor says, ‘it’s for you to decide how many inches you want. But it’s something you’d better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five-inch one before, and you decide to go for a seven-inch version, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a seven inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five-inch model this time, she might be disappointed. So it’s important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision.’
The man agrees to talk with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day. ‘So,’ says the doctor, ‘have you spoken with your wife?’
‘I have,’ says the man.
‘And has she helped you in making the decision?’
‘Yes, she has,’ says the man.
‘And what is it?’ asks the doctor.

‘We’re getting granite countertops.’

A happy wife = a happy life.

About Ray V.

Living between Aiken & Charleston,, South Carolina, USA, I like to share what I am looking at, thinking about or listening to. I refer to this as the view out my window. Thanks for stopping by.
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6 Responses to The Honeymoon Is Over

  1. LOLOLOL……that is all I am going to comment lest I get myself in trouble!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ray V. says:

      I hit 60 in a few weeks and posting stories like this is about the most trouble I get into these days 😊🙁

      Liked by 1 person

      • Well I have you beat by two years. Sometimes it makes me wise and keep my mouth shut….and sometimes it make me reckless and figure what have I got to lose? I did read this to my husband and the look on his face was priceless….and then he started smirking and I did not dare ask what he was thinking!!!!!


  2. petespringerauthor says:

    Ha-ha! Got to love those granite countertops.


  3. Jim Borden says:

    thanks for the laugh!

    Liked by 1 person

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