Learn From My Mistakes

Below is the text of the toast I offered at Jelly & Cole’s wedding.  th

It is my wish for them and everyone that is within the reach of my keyboard.

Summed up cogently: Learn from my mistakes.

My toast:

Elissa has asked me to offer a toast to her and Cole. She instructed me that it should make people laugh . . . and cry. I’m not going to say much of anything funny because I believe her sisters are handling that. As usual, I’m the serious guy.

I hope these words will help Elissa and Cole (and all of us for that matter) have more laughs and less tears in our relationships.

I have rarely been good with putting my feelings into words, a fault I acknowledge, so lets start with I hope you both are able to share your feelings with each other, without hesitation. Listen to each other and always value and honor the other’s feelings.

May you always see yourself as partners and find a way to resolve conflicts as soon as possible. Perhaps this will mean letting the one who feels the most strongly about a situation have the final say about it. Pick your battles. Sometimes peace is more important than being right.

Find out from each other the ways that each of you feels the most loved, and consistently express your love for each other accordingly, even if the ways your spouse feels most loved are different from the ways you feel most loved.

Consistently do little things that you know will please each other, even if it takes an extra effort.  

Be quick to say “Thank you,” even for simple things.

We raise children solely for them to leave and feather their own nest. We acknowledge, taking the words of Darius Rucker that it won’t be like this for long, but that’s what memories are for.

Alicia and I turn over Elissa to Cole without reservation. He has demonstrated a sense of obligation and responsibility that I wish I had at his age.

That being said, I hope my cell phone will still ring now and then with a problem needing to be solved . . for old times sake.

May your lives be blessed with joy and your journey together, be a lifelong adventure.


And let the people say, Amen.



About Ray V.

Living between Aiken & Charleston,, South Carolina, USA, I like to share what I am looking at, thinking about or listening to. I refer to this as the view out my window. Thanks for stopping by.
This entry was posted in Marriage, On Fatherhood, Quotes, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to Learn From My Mistakes

  1. amen. Well said sir.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. A beautiful speech, I’m sure Elissa was as proud of her dad as you were of her.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. josiesvoice says:

    A speech from the heart. Congrats!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Osyth says:

    Well you may not have played for the laughs but you certainly won’t have had dry eyes in the room. And neither are my eyes dry here. Its a beautiful speech and every word, spoken from your heart, is wise and worthy and quite wonderful.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. lisanne3015 says:

    So very true and so sweet! Not good with words?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Carol Maino says:

    Very well said, Ray.


  7. Amen. A fine toast Ray.


  8. You did an awesome job with that toast Ray! “Sometimes peace is more important than being right” That is a great reminder for those of us married 37 years also. Loved every word of this and you put your feelings into words beautifully.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. E. says:

    Terrific! E.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. P & J says:

    More tears…..beautiful speech!


  11. Wow , such beautiful words.
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